Sunday, June 5, 2016

White Servants, Black and Indian Slaves, and the Turning Point of American History

All right, here's a history lesson about 17th century colonial plantation labor. It actually started as a reply to someone on Facebook talking about "white slaves" and just kept getting longer and longer, so I decided to put it in this format.

In the beginning, in Jamestown, most of that plantation labor was done by white indentured servants. These were not "white slaves." They were poor white Europeans, mostly from the British Isles, who paid their way over the Atlantic to the new colonies by selling their labor -signing contracts ranging from four to seven years. During that service they were essentially at the mercy of the owners of those contracts. When the time was up, they were free. 

Beginning in 1619, white indentured servants were joined in the tobacco fields by African slaves- a little later, they started to be joined by American Indians who had either been captured by the English or traded for from other tribes who had captured them. At first the labor was mostly white, with a limited amount of black and red; later the number of Indian slaves (for such they were) increased quite a bit, and blacks were still the smallest group. 

Because the planters held the white workers' contracts, they wanted to get their money's worth out of them, so they worked them like crazy, in fact often working them to death... so most indentured servants in the first decades of the century did not survive to the end of their contracts (plus there was disease, hunger, Indian wars, and general hardship adding to the high mortality rate.) But by the late 1600s, most white servants WERE living to the end of their contracts, and theoretically -this is why they came- they were entitled to land. But most of the good land had already been taken by the planters by that time. So you had increasing numbers of newly freed poor white people with no land and no job. They started calling for the colonial government to wipe out ALL the Indians, including those allied with the English, so they could get THEIR land. The colonial govt. refused to do so, and a rebellion occurred in 1676 led by a charismatic member of the ruling class named Nathaniel Bacon who presented himself as a "man of the people." 

It was a serious conflict; the rebels burned down Jamestown. Both sides offered freedom to any black slaves who would help fight on their side, but oddly enough not many slaves trusted the planters. Quite a few joined the rebels. In fact, after Bacon himself died of disease, the last hundred rebels to be brought to heel were a group of a hundred, 80 slaves and 20 white indentured servants. Colonial leaders realized that using indentured servants for plantation work was a bad idea -it just increased the number of frustrated poor white people- so that practice was ended. There were still indentured servants (for about another century) but they were no longer used for plantation labor, so there were far fewer of them. 

It occurred to the political and financial elites that it was also just generally a bad idea to let black and white workers unite, so they started passing new laws (this trend had actually already started before the rebellion, but it intensified afterward) making it illegal for blacks and whites to marry. This had actually become fairly common. They also passed a lot of laws restricting the activities of African slaves, which did not apply to white indentured servants, to reinforce the idea that BLACKS ARE RACIALLY INFERIOR, and poor whites should not trust them or treat them as equals. It was to the advantage of the planters to give the poor whites a RACE to hate instead of a CLASS (them). If there were a racial line instead of a class line, the poor whites would side with the planters rather than the black workers. 

As I like to illustrate it, it's like three guys sitting down to a table that holds a plate with ten cookies: a rich guy with eight cookies, and a poor white guy and a black guy, each with one. In this scenario the guy with eight cookies tells the poor white guy, "you better watch that black guy, I think he wants to steal your cookie." And then while the two poor guys are watching each other, the rich guy gets all the cookies.

So by the late 1600s, plantation labor was not being done by white indentured servants, but rather by black and Indian slaves. Indians still outnumbered blacks as slaves in some areas. That changed as a result of the Yamassee War of 1715-17 in South Carolina. That war, in which one of the big factors was the disruption in tribal life caused by the Indian slave trade, was essentially all the tribes in the region (starting with the Yamassees) versus South Carolina; the colony was in danger of being destroyed. Although one group of Cherokees were fighting against the English, the larger number of them came in as English allies and helped prevent disaster for the colony. The result of all this: Southern planters concluded that using INDIANS as slaves wasn't the best idea, either, as they often had well-armed relatives nearby.

So by the early 1700s, plantation labor -and slavery -had become an exclusively black experience, Throughout the eighteenth and into the nineteenth centuries both the legal and social norms were an ever more restrictive way of life for blacks -slave or free -and an ever sharper defined racial barrier, with blacks portrayed as lazy, inferior, shifty and shiftless, violent, and untrustworthy -in order to make it easier to keep them separate and controlled. And to make poor whites feel better about themselves, because no matter how bad they had it they were better than Negroes, and so they were willing to sacrifice their own best interests, and sometimes their own lives, to keep the planter class in power and wealth. Whenever the poor whites would get antsy or start to complain about their lot, the elites would remind them how dangerous the blacks were and how we need to work together to keep them under control.

And here we are.

And the big turning point was Bacon's Rebellion, when poor whites and blacks worked together against the elites -out of a desire to kill all the Indians and take their land, which would have hurt the elites economically- and when the rebellion was put down racial lines were firmly and sharply drawn to prevent it from happening again. It is the ultimate American story.

Thursday, February 4, 2016

Swimming Against the Tide in Higher Ed

In case you haven’t noticed, there have been a lot of changes in higher education in this century, especially since the economic downturn in 2008. In a lot of cases this involved trends already in place well before then, but which have been amplified in recent years –and, as is often the case, have been connected to the political landscape.

As states have significantly decreased the funding they give to public universities –while costs have continued to rise –those universities have been looking for money elsewhere. Much of this comes in rising tuition –and studies have shown that the biggest increase in cost that those students are paying for is the ballooning cost of administration (certainly not faculty, as there has been a growing trend of relying on adjuncts with low wages and no benefits.)

All of this has made academia more vulnerable to the trend of neoliberal corporatization and outsourcing (much like public schools have been experiencing in this country.) Which brings us to the political component (and after all, can you talk about money without talking about politics, and vice versa?) The 2010 midterm elections saw a national wave of conservative Republicans dominating state legislatures across the U.S., often aligned with governors of the same political bent –and that particular bent is one that bends away from traditional support of public institutions and bend toward privatization, to the benefit of businesses and, in the case of academia, the detriment of the mission of higher education.

This can best be demonstrated by taking a look at what Scott Walker has tried to do, with quite a bit of success, in Wisconsin, by attacking public unions and the concept of tenure. He infamously tried to rewrite the university’s mission statement, eliminating all that silly stuff about searching for truth, engaging the public, and improving the human condition, and instead sum the whole thing up by saying “meet the state’s workforce needs.” As if a university is the same thing as a technical training school, and not a place to engage with ideas.

This bodes ill in general, because the same things are happening around the country. State governments are initiating changes that will benefit entrepreneurs, under the guise of saving money, while weakening principles like academic freedom and shared governance. The same sorts of things are happening on the individual campus level, with it becoming more and more common for administrators to implement rapid change from the top down rather than go through the traditional processes of consulting with faculty about education. As I recently heard one administrator say, when you’re trying to get something done too much dialogue slows down the process.

And that is the crux of the matter. The old way of doing things: go through the necessary procedures of faculty discussing the issues –having first been informed of said issues –and then making a recommendation, which is either seriously considered by administration or, on many campuses, is part of the administrative process. The new way of doing things: administration making changes, with nominal or no faculty input (and sometimes nominal or no faculty knowledge), and then announcing said change.

Proponents of this new paradigm say it is essential in our new, modern circumstances. Universities have to be quick on their feet, immediately responding to new opportunities, especially if those opportunities bring in funding. And dialogue just slows things down, and results in the risk of missing lucrative opportunities. Is there a link in the chain of faculty involvement that might prove weak in regard to the opportunity being seized? Then bypass that link. Maybe the whole chain. We have to be mobile, agile, and adaptable.

Know what that sounds like? A successful business model. A model in which profits are produced for the shareholders, which is the primary (and practically the only) purpose of the venture. The problem is, higher ed –although requiring funding to survive –is not a business venture, or it shouldn’t be. It is about human capital, not economic capital. It is an intellectual investment in the future of our country –not to produce docile workers with proper credentials, but to produce dynamic and innovative thinkers, and informed and engaged citizens, who have been taught to challenge the status quo in order to improve it. And this requires academic freedom for their professors to guide them in those pursuits. And academic freedom requires shared governance to ensure that the true purpose of the university –interaction between faculty and students that stimulates intellectual growth –does not take second place to economic concerns or to making the process easier (or more maneuverable.) Democracy itself, after all, is neither facile nor agile. It is unwieldy by design and by necessity. The lack of it might make the trains run on time, but that is not the real goal.

Proponents of this new model would say this trend is irreversible and it would be foolish (and naïve) to try to resist it. "It's gone, and it's not coming back." "We can't beat 'em, we have to join 'em." So essentially: here is the program, jump on it. Or for you fellow Star Trek fans: You will be assimilated. Resistance is futile.

Here's my problem with that. As a historian, I know that there have been countless changes made -and trends reversed -by large numbers of people uniting in opposition. Things no one would have thought possible. The end of slavery and segregation. The female franchise. Heck, the eight-hour workday. All those things and many more -including the protection of academic freedom a little over a century ago -required pushing back against a wave that seemed irresistible. If you resist and you're the only person that does -yeah, that's not going to work out so well for you. But if a lot of people do, together, no trend is inevitable. In fact, this very "trend" they keep talking about was carefully engineered and given long-range execution due to careful, deliberate planning of conservative groups beginning in the 1970s.

This is not to say that universities don’t need funding and enrollment. But the very national situation that necessitates putting more emphasis on those things than we used to can be reversed –but we have to work together and try, on all levels. When someone tells you, "A change is occurring, it will limit your power, resistance is futile," it is a sure sign you need to organize some resistance. And start thinking about the ways this allegedly irresistible trend stands to benefit the people telling you not to oppose it. Maybe it makes their lives easier. Is that what we are here for?

Wednesday, December 30, 2015

How to speak Southern Appalachian

“Southern Mountain Speech” is the official term given to the dialect spoken in Southern Appalachia. It is a unique subset of the Southern accent, with many similarities in pronunciations but with a lot of differences, as well (there are also a lot of similarities with many African American dialects.) Some have called it the oldest spoken form of English –there are many elements of Elizabethan English as well as Scots-Irish dialect. Early settlers in the mountainous regions of western Virginia and North Carolina were very isolated, and their speech patterns remained the same or similar over the generations even as English continued to evolve (even in England.)

The first thing to bear in mind when examining this dialect is to remember that it IS a dialect, an accent, a different way of saying things –not something inferior, which is how it has usually been portrayed. Its speakers continue to be assumed to be ignorant, backward, and lazy. This stems from the hillbilly stereotype, which is a subject for a different day.

"There can be no doubt that it's the most heavily stigmatized regional speech in the country," South Carolina author Michael B. Montgomery told National Geographic. "I can't think of any other region where five words out of somebody's mouth will completely affect another person's evaluation of their intelligence, their reliability, their truthfulness, and their ability to handle complex tasks.”

A Southern mountain dialect is no more “inferior” than Scottish, Irish, Cockney, or New York English accents. Many aspects of the dialect that are considered improper in contemporary English were considered culturally and grammatically proper in the 1700s. It is also worth noting that there are regional differences within the dialect: while many of these terms are used throughout Appalachia, some are location-specific. For example, calling a soda pop a "dope" is rarely done outside western North Carolina. There are even variations from county to county. My own home county, White County, TN, has words and expressions (such as rullick and yert) with which people native to adjacent counties are totally unfamiliar. Also, I have not included some words and phrases that are more generally rural or Southern than specific to Appalachia, such as "pole cat" for skunk.

It is also worth pointing out that -as you will see -this pattern of speech is not a random selection of "improper" or "uneducated" words. It HAS RULES, including pretty consistent rules for vowel pronunciation and grammar. This is what makes it a legitimate dialect and not just a collection of slang. They just aren't necessarily the rules to which you are accustomed.

With all that in mind, let us look at some of the speech markers of Southern Appalachia… and if I missed anything, please let me know.

·         The word Appalachian itself: Southern Appalachian natives usually pronounce it App-a-LATCH-un, while outsiders tend to pronounce it App-a-LAY-shun.
·         The SUFFIX –ing (e.g., winning, spinning, twisting) drops the g, becoming winnin’, spinnin’, and twistin’. However, words ending in –ing but not as a suffix (e.g., thing, bring, sing) do NOT drop the g. instead the vowel becomes a nasalized a: thang, brang, sang. The same thing happens with words ending in –ink (think becomes thank, stink becomes stank). It is similar to the in/im in French (wherein the word vin, or wine, is pronounced as a nasalized van.) Therefore, anythin’ is incorrect; anythang is correct. "Nothing" is an exception. “You thank it don’t mean nothin’, but it means ever’thang.”
o   Thing = thang
o   Sing = sang
o   Single = sangle
o   Fingers = fangers
o   Think = thank
o   Bring = brang (past tense: brung) Sometimes this becomes prang/prung
o   English = Anglish

·         Fire is pronounced the same as far. In fact, all words with the –ire sound are pronounced –ar.
o   Fire = far
o   Tire = tar
o   Hire = har
o   Wire = war
o   Retire = retarr
o   Iron = Arn
o   Irish = Arsh
o   Exceptions: liar, buyer, flyer, or any other word where the -ire sound is created by adding -er or-ar to a verb that rhymes with pie
·         Flower is pronounced the same as flare. All words with the –ower sound are pronounced –air (including the words "our" and "hour".)
o   Flower/flour =flare
o   Power = pare
o   Tower = tare
o   Shower = share
·         Pronounce royal as if the y were not there: hence, ro’ahl. Do the same with all words that rhyme with royal.
o   Royal = ro’ahl
o   Oil = oh’ahl
o   Boil = bo’ahl
o   Coil = co’ahl  (unless it is a verb, in which case it is quile)
o   Toil, soil, etc.
·         Want is pronounced the same as won’t. On is pronounced the same as own.
·         Can’t rhymes with ain’t.
·         A long o sound at the end of a word becomes –er
o   Hollow = holler
o   Follow = foller
o   Fellow = feller
o   Window = winder
o   Yellow = yeller
o   Potato = ‘tater
o   Tomato = ‘mater
o   Tobacco = ‘backer
If this sounds "uneducated", bear in mind that, in modern British English, when a word ending in a vowel is followed by a word beginning with a vowel, an R is inserted between them (much like in French a T is inserted in such circumstances.) Thus, a 21st century Englishman might say "Pizzer is my favorite food, but a bananner is nice from time to time." 
·         An -a at the end of a word often becomes a –y / -ie. Thus the names Lula and Sara become Lulie and Sary, and the town Sparta is sometimes Spartie. Extra becomes extrie, soda becomes soadie. Noah becomes No-ee. In a few rare cases, though, an r is added at the end of the word instead of changing the a to ie/y: Cuba = Cuber    Jonah = Joner
·        The sound –or sometimes becomes –ar. The actual word “or” can be pronounced either “er” or “ar”.
o   Orange =Arnge
o   Forest = farrest
o   Foreign =Far’n
o   Oregon = Ahregon
o   Florida = Flahrida. Sometimes Flardy.

·         Where is pronounced whur
·         Scared = skeered      Care = keer  I don't care = I-oant keer, which to the untrained ear can sound like "ount-keer". Are ye skeered? I-oant keer.
·         “Right” can sometimes mean very. “That’s right kind of ye.”
·         Right smart = a large amount. “You could fit a right smart of people in that room.”
·         Clean / plumb = completely. “He knocked ‘att-un clean outta the park, it was plumb awesome.”
·         Southern Appalachians are apparently one of the few groups that pronounces the l in walk and talk.
·         It is very hard to explain the Southern pronunciation of the long I, because there is no other sound in American English to which it can be compared closely. Normally an English long I is pronounced like the –ai in Japanese (as in hai, for yes.) If you think about it, in that diphthong you are pronouncing both letters separately, but really, really fast: Ah-ee. So imagine dropping the –ee part. But that’s not exactly it, either, because the Southern I does not sound like “ah”, which is how I have often seen it portrayed. It’s sort of like saying ah but while smiling real big. I think that’s the best I can describe it.
·         Many monosyllabic words are drawn out into two syllables. Hence Troy becomes Tro-ee, Carl becomes Carr’uhl, and sometimes Bill becomes Bee’ahl. Red becomes rayud. Shit becomes shee-it.
·         Some grammatical practices which exist (and are technically considered incorrect) all around the country are used with far greater frequency in Appalachia
o   Dropping g’s, as mentioned above
o   Past tense of “to be” always used in singular form regardless of number: He was, they was
o   Use of the word ain’t
·         Past tense often differs from standard English.
o   I saw = I seen   Sometimes seen and saw are reversed: "Oh, I seen him. He was the meanest man I'd ever saw.
o   I knew = I knowed
o   I grew = I growed
·         Double negatives are employed, often for emphasis. “I ain’t got nary’n.” “He ain’t got no sense a-tall.” This was considered standard English until the mid-18th century; Shakespeare often used double negatives.
·         Southern Appalachians still use the word ye, and often. Whether ye or you is used often depends on the emphasis in the sentence: “Should I GIVE it to ye?” “Should I give it to YOU?”
·         Toys are called purties (pretties), or play purties.
·         Strew is pronounced stroe. Strewn is stroe’d. “That dadgum young’un done stroe’d his play purties ever-whur!”
·         Sip is pronounced sup. “Give me a sup of that drank.”
·         The words yonder and reckon are still used often (oddly enough, they are also used in British English but not non-Southern American English.)
·         Ary and Nary = Any and None. They come from the Elizabethan terms “e’er a” and “ne’er a”. “Do ye have ary batt'ry for this thang? I ain’t got nary’n.”
·         Y’uns (“you ones”). This is an Appalachian word that is interchangeable with y’all. Northern Appalachians (in Pennsylvania) also say it, but they pronounce it yinz while Southern Appalachians pronounce it like a German umlaut u, or yünz.
·         Lack is pronounced “like”. “All we like now is four more dollars.”
·         “Like-ta” or “like-to-of” = almost. “I like-to-of died.” It is only used when speaking of the past, up to the immediate past.
·         Aunt and Ant are pronounced the same as Ain’t. Hence Andy Griffith spoke of his “Aint Bea.”
·         Tobacco is called either “tobackuh” or “backer.”
·         Borrow = Barr. Borrowed = Barrd. Sometimes borrow = bahrry. Also, sometimes borrow means to loan: Can you bahrry me five dollars?
·         Wash = warsh
·         Be-in’s (sometimes also “bezun”) = being as =since. “Be’in’s y’all are goin’ that way, can I get a ride?”
·         This, that, them: the th is often dropped. “Say hey to your mama and ‘emm!” “Those” is very rarely used. “Hand me ‘emm nails.”
·         Right here and right yonder sometimes become ri-cheer and ri-chunder. "Over there" is o'vair.
·         Might could =might be able to
·         Haint = haunt (ghost). In some parts of Appalachia ain’t is pronounced hain’t. In those areas, it is pronounced hit.      An unruly person is wild as a haint.
·         “Reach me” = “hand me.” “Reach me ‘att wrainch.”
·         To chunk = to throw
·         The leg of your britches = your britchie-lag.
·         Corn = roas’n’ears (roasting ears), but pronounced roash’nears.
·         Ramps = wild onions
·         Col’drank: not just any chilled beverage, specifically a carbonated one (i.e., soda pop).
·         Coke = absolutely any kind of carbonated beverage, regardless of brand or flavor. “Gimme a coke.” “What kind of coke do ye woant- Mountain Dew? Grape?” Coke and col'drank are interchangeable. "Pop" is used in Eastern Kentucky and some other areas, whereas in East Tennessee saying pop would immediately mark you as an outsider.
·         Narrow = Narr.
·         Kindly = kind of. “That road over yonder is kindly narr.”
·         Every = ever’. Ever’body, ever’thang. You don’t say “everyone” at all, just “ever’body”. Same with anyone/anybody.
·         Once’t, twice’t. Adding a t to the end of these words is also an Elizabethan convention.
·         Directly = later. It does NOT mean directly as in immediately. Pronounced dreckly. Sometimes: “here dreckly.” Synonym: afterwhile.
·         Puny = sick
·         Poor (pronounced "pore") = skinny, sickly. "You're lookin' real pore -are you feelin' puny?"
·         Fixin’ to: preparing to. This is not as weird as outsiders make it seem; after all, if you are preparing dinner, you are FIXING dinner.
·         Three meals of the day: breakfast, dinner, supper. Dinner is the midday meal. If someone tells you to meet them around dinner-time, they mean around noon.
·         Far = fur. “Hey dispatcher- how fur to that far?” Sometimes "for" is fer, sometimes it is far: "Fer petesake, what'd ye go 'att fur far? Ye goin' to a far?" Also: furthest can be "futherest."
·         Yoant-to = you want to?
·         Ort = ought   “Yoant-to? Y’ort to!”
·         Goozle = that funny thing in the back of your throat. “I ort to choke your goozle!” Sometimes goozler.
·         Goober = peanut, but in many parts of Appalachia, penis.
·         Aholt = ahold
·         One t’other = sometimes just “one” for short. “I’m fixin to go to Nashville or Knoxville one.”
·         Hi’dy. Appalachian for howdy. It’s probably where our contemporary word “hi” comes from.
·         Light bread = white sandwich bread
·         Sweet milk = regular milk, as opposed to buttermilk
·         Ah’ Law! An exclamation meaning Oh Lord. It’s not pronounced “ah”, but rather like you were going to say “at” and never said the t.
·         They Law! An exclamation meaning The Lord. This one can be shortened to just They. Andy Griffith could often be heard saying They or They Law.
·          A mite = a little. “Well, that’s a mite harsh, don’t you thank?”
·         Pert near’t = pretty near it, or almost.
·         Nigh on to = nearly
·         Ill = always means ill-tempered. It does NOT mean sick, puny means sick. Or just sick. “I don’t like that man- he’s always ill.”
·         Rainch = ranch, but also wrench and rinse. “After ye warsh ‘att, remember to rainch it.”
·         Mock = to imitate. Like a mockingbird. It does NOT mean deride or laugh at, it always means to imitate scornfully. (Think of things like mock fur, for example.)
·         Sairdy = the day after Fridy.
·          The Show = the movie theater
·         Sorry = no good and low-down (as in a sorry excuse.) “I’m sorry!” “Good, now apologize!”
·         Job = jab
·         Stob = a stick, usually one poking out of the ground. “Festus got jobbed with a stob”.
·         A story = a lie. “Don’t you tell me no stories, young’un!”
·         Study on = think about for awhile
·         Thoe = throw. “I seen Bill at the show and he never even thoed up his hand at me!”
·         Done = finished. "That's it, I'm done." Also substituted for “did” when that verb has an object, but not when it is used alone:  “I done painted that! I done it! I swear I did!”  Also: Done = already. "I done fixed that door once!" Hence, one can say "I done done that." For emphasis: I done already done that.
·         Hind end = butt
·         Pen is pronounced pin. In fact, -en and –em usually become –in and –im. Thus an encounter with the Empire becomes an incounter with the Imparr. Ten and tin are both pronounced tin. This is why Appalachians use the terms stick-pin and ink-pen (ank-pin), to distinguish which kind of pin/pen you mean. Also, depend is pronounced de'pinned. Yet is yit. Get is git. As noted, however, with set/sit it is the opposite: "If ye woant to write a letter, set down and git ye an ank pin."
·         Catty-corner = what in other regions would be called kitty-corner.
·         Si-gogglin, or cy-gogglin = lopsided, especially as in a leaning building. Some have speculated this comes from side-goggled, with goggle as in askew (like “goggle-eyed”)
·         Towns ending in –ville are not pronounced “vill” but rather “vuhl”. Nashvuhl, Knoxvuhl. In Cookeville the k is often silent, making the word “Cuh’vuhl.”
·         Towns ending in –boro are pronounced burr. Hence Murfreesboro = Murf’sburr, and Gainesboro becomes Gainesburr.
·         Many words have emphasis on different syllables than in other regions.
o   AutoMObile
o   InDUStry
o   POlice
o   AmbuLANCE
o   Thee-AY-ter
o   Resi-DENCE

·         A-verbing: adding the prefix –a to a verb, pronounced as a schwa and usually to a verb indicating progressive or continuing action. “We was a-walkin’ and here come a bear a-runnin’ right at us.” The form is most often used in the context of recounting a series of events or telling a story. This was common in standard English in the 1500s, and until the 1700s was considered not only acceptable but literate and sophisticated.
·         -ever is sometimes reversed to the beginning of a word. “Everwho done that is ignernt.”
·         Poke = sack.
·         Woman is sometimes pronounced “woe-mern.”
·         Kerosene = coal oil
·         Kyarn = carrion, and the smell associated with it.
·         Tote = to carry
·         To carry someone = to give them a ride
·         Boggan, or sometimes toboggan = a knit cap, such as some would call a beanie or a stocking cap.
·         Airish =chilly or windy
·         Cathead = a large biscuit 
·          Sometimes the sound -ay becomes almost a long I, similar to some British accents, so that today sounds almost like to-die (this is the standard long I, not the Southern one.)
·         Vomit = vomick, and diarrhea = di'reer. Virus = varse, and is almost always used to mean an upset stomach. "I've been vomickin' all day, I thank I got the varse."
·          Serious = seerce
·          Wasn’t = wadn’t; doesn’t = dudn’t    isn't = idn't    isn't it = idnit   isn't that = idn'at           
·         Where do you live = where do you stay at?
·         Eat up = consumed.  “I’m eat up with love.”
·         Evening = late afternoon, around dusk. Once it gets dark, it’s night.
·         Next Saturday = the Saturday of next week. If it is Thursday and I say “next Saturday”, I don’t mean two days from now, I mean nine days from now. On Thursday, two days from now would be “this Saturday.” 
·         Light out = leave. Also sometimes “light a shuck.” As in, lighting a corn shuck so as to see the road as you travel.
·         Mind = obey. “You mind me, child!”
·         Risin’ = a pimple. “I got a risin’!”
·         Ruin = rern. Past tense: rernt.
·         Set = sit. “Set down and stay a spell.”
·         Whip = whup. This is NOT pronounced “whupp” or “whoop”, but more like whüp
·         Chair = cheer.   Set in this cheer!
·         A spell = a while. Also, a dizzy spell- but you don’t always say the “dizzy” part.
·         If you are dizzy, you might say you are light-headed, or that your head is a-swimmin’. Or you’re having a spell.
·         “I don’t care to” = I don’t mind doing it. This leads to confusion with outsiders, who think “I don’t care to” means “I don’t want to.”
·         The t is silent in slept.
·         Some words have added syllables: drowneded, for example. Or breasts, sometimes pronounced breastiz, or nests becoming nestiz. Sometimes the extra syllable comes in the middle: realtor = real-a-ter, athlete = athalete, nuclear = nukular. If this sounds similar to Texas Southern, it is because a large number of people who settled Texas were Appalachian.
·         Stove up = injured. If you just feel kinda sick, you’re peaked, pronounced peekid.
·         Backwards = shy. “His daddy was always kindly backwards” (pronounced backerds.)
·         Chimney = chimley
·         Drain = dreen
·         Don’t get above your raisin’ = don’t be stuck up. Also, don’t put oan airs. Don't be biggity, or uppity.
·         Vienna sausages = vye-eenies.
·         Tomorrow = ta’marr 
·         Wasper = wasp
·         There you go = Air ye go.
·         Yorn = yours. Also: his'n, her'n, our'n, their'n. You can also get out'n a scrape. If'n ye try hard enough.
·         Purse = pocket book
·         Bedroom suite is not pronounced “bedroom sweet” but rather “bedroom suit”.
·         Chest of drawers is pronounced chester drawers.
·         Restaurant = resternt
·         This one is not often used anymore by folks under 70, because of the sexual connotation: quarr, for queer, as in strange (not as in homosexual). “He always was a mite quarr.”
·         Crayfish = crawdad
·         Cantaloupe = mushmelon
·         Pear = p’ar
·         Brung up (or prung up) = raised, as in from childhood
·         If something tastes good, it will make you slap your granny.
·         Give out = exhausted. “Lordy, I’m plumb give out.”
·         Gulley warsher = heavy rain
·         Rullick = a low person of questionable character. People outside of White County, TN, seem to be unfamiliar with this one.
·         Go on = talk at length, or sometimes behave foolishly. “Lord, that boy does like to go on.” Or, "Oh, he's just goin' on."
·         Count = good. “Is Bill any count?” “No, Bill ain’t no count a-tall.” Short for "of any account."
·         It is not a shopping cart, it is a buggy.
·         It is not a hand-truck or a dollie, it is a two-wheeler.
·         “Home-made sin” =something very disturbing or ugly. “That feller was uglier’n home-made sin.”
·         “Well, bless your heart” can mean either “you poor, unfortunate soul” or “you poor, ignorant person,” depending on circumstances.
·         Duns = bills. “Nothin’ in the mailbox but duns, as usual.”
·         It’s not an electric bill, it’s a light bill.
·         If you play hooky from school or work, you are laying out.
·   “Chance” is pronounced “Chaince”, or “Chaince’t.” Similarly, "branch" is pronounced "brainch" (a branch is a small stream or creek.) "Dance" becomes "Daince."
·         “Fell off” = lost weight    “Flesh out” = gain weight. You’ve fell off, you need to flesh out.
·         Towel, trowel, foul, owl, etc. all rhyme with “pal”.
·  “Stout” = physically strong. It does NOT necessarily mean large; a thin person can be stout.
·         The L is usually silent in “help”
·         “Ready-roll” = a store-bought cigarette
·         Sweetenin’ = dessert food, candy, etc.  “I ain’t had no sweetenin’ today, I’d shore like some pie.”
·         Some people –especially older folks –call a motorcycle a motor-sickle.
·         Daughter is sometimes pronounced “dorter”; water is sometimes “worter.”
·         Brother is sometimes shortened to Br’er (just like Br’er Rabbit), which is pronounced “Burr.”
·         Play like = pretend. Also, “let on” = pretend   "You thank he's seerce?" "No, I thank he's just lettin' oan."
·         Favor = to remind a person of someone; also, “puts me in mind of.”  “Ol’ Jeff favors his Daddy.” “He puts me more in mind of his Grandpa.”
·         Hull = to shell, as in beans or peas.
·         Skift = a small amount, as in “a skift of snow.”
·         Fireboard =mantel over a fireplace
·         Dog-iron (pronounced dog-arn) = an andiron
·         Singletree--pivoted crossbar to either end of which the traces are fastened when yoking a horse or mule to a plow. Pronounced sangletree, of course.
·         Backset--a reverse, a relapse in illness.
·        Blink--exercise an evil influence, bewitch, turn sour. "Blinky milk."
·         To be marked by = for a child to be born showing, in some fashion, the influence of someone the mother knew. “Junior is always tellin’ stories, I must’ve marked him by my brother Bill.”
·         Learn = both to learn and to teach. ‘At’ll learn ye! I’ll learn you to sass me!
·         Coil = quile   “That copperhead was quiled up.”
·         Rear back/ rear up =rare back, rare up
·         Itch sounds like each
·         If someone is very hungry, they may say “my stomach thinks my throat’s been cut.”
 ·         Just like in Elizabethan English, gentlefolks who would never dream of swearing still use the words shit, ass, and piss, which they don’t consider vulgar. (vulgar words, to them, would be Goddamn –which is “taking the Lord’s name in vain” –or anything pertaining to genitals or their sexual use.) I can attest to this. I have seen Appalachian mothers smack their children for saying “dirty words” and telling them “we don’t say shit like that around here.” Which makes sense; after all, “piss” occurs frequently in the King James Bible because it was not considered vulgar in the 1600s.
·         Ears are sometimes called years.
·         Leg can be pronounced lag or laig
·         If you don’t like someone, you might call them a shit-ass. Or a peckerwood. Maybe even a sumbitch (accent on the first syllable).
·         If you want to say the f-word as an exclamation, but you don’t really want to say the f-word, you can say: foot!   “Well, foot! We’re fixin’ to lose ‘iss game!”
·         If you are behaving in an inappropriately mean manner, you are “being ugly.” “Quit bein’ ugly to that girl!”    synonym: Hateful, which can mean not just cruel but also rude or cross. "Ye don't have to be so hateful about it."   Inappropriate sexual behavior can sometimes (disapprovingly) be called "actin' ugly" - they was out yonder in the bushes actin' ugly.
·         Giving someone a kiss is “giving them some sugar.”
·         If you suspect someone was saying bad things about you behind your back, your ears are burning.
·         If things are going well, they are finer’n frog hair. If they are going real well, they are finer’n frog hair split four ways (sometimes three ways).
·         A booger is an evil spirit or monster. “Be keerful out yonder, a booger might git ye!” Of course, as in the rest of the country, a booger is also a piece of dried mucus. In some parts of the north, a piece of dried mucus is also called a “goober”, but bear in mind that in Appalachia goober can mean penis. So if you come South and tell people you woke up with goobers in your eye, and they laugh hysterically, that’s why.
·         Gaunt = gaint. Synonyms: pore, puny
·         Sometimes, with demonstrative pronouns, “there” becomes “they”. “They’s a lot of thangs I ain’t told ye.”
·         Jasper = a stranger. “They’s some jasper out yonder pokin’ around.”
·         Chow chow = home canned relish
·         Glom onto = take hold of
·         Someone with a pleasant personality has a good turn; someone ill-tempered has a bad turn. Someone very strange has an odd turn or a funny turn.
·         If you pull someone’s hair in a fight, you done jerked ‘em up by the hair of the head.
·         If something is stuck fast, it is tighter’n Dick’s hatband. The same phrase can describe someone who is cheap (therefore tight with their money.)
·         If something is flatter’n a fritter…. it’s pretty flat. People often pronounce it “flatter’n a flitter.”
·         Catawampus = askew, awry.    Also pronounced catty-wampus.
·         Different = differnt     Ignorant = ignernt
·         Sometimes the G is dropped in “I’m gonna,” becoming “I’m oanna.” This only happens in first person, not with he’s gonna, she’s gonna, etc. “I’m oanna catch up later.”  Also, the W is often dropped in "you want," becoming "yoant."
·         Stupid is often pronounced styupid. Here can be hyere. Note that "styupid" is more in line with the modern British pronunciation than the American.
·         A common greeting, which is impossible to spell accurately, goes something like this: “O hyanh.” The second word is something between a snort and a sneeze, and the phrase approximates “Oh, here” or “[Hell]o here.”
·         Garbage collectors are sometimes called “dobie boys” in White County, TN.
·         Yert: this is a word that is unique to White County, TN. It has been used (primarily by teens) for decades –at least since WWII and possibly before –and its origins are unclear. Basically, it can be used as a positive exclamation/affirmation or greeting, and is sometimes accompanied by a gesture approximating the pulling of the cord of a train or big rig air horn. “Yert, good buddy!”
·         Remember = recollect. However, in a command, you always say remember- you would never say "Recollect to do that!" But you MIGHT say: "Do you recollect how I told you to remember to do that?"
·         Common people = NOT a compliment. Rather, denotes low quality. “I ain’t bein’ prung down by all these common people in this town.”
·         Southern waitresses aren’t the only people who call everyone sugar, honey, and darlin. It is common for older women to use those terms when addressing anyone younger than them, regardless of gender, and for older men to use them when talking to any women and to males into their 20s. 
·         Shorts = short pants. It has only been in the last couple of decades that I have seen local Appalachian males of middle age or older wearing shorts in public (or sandals.) Traditionally, “short pants” were for young children (boys) who graduated into long britches, so for a grown man to be seen in short pants would be humiliating. Traditionally, adult male attire was usually overalls, work boots (clodhoppers), and a hat of some kind; a pork pie or something similar before the mid-1970s, a John Deere or Ford ball cap since. Until the 1990s, one could walk around the local Wal-mart or grocery store and tell which of the senior males were local, and which were move-in Yankees, just by their attire. This is still true to some extent, but is no longer universal.
·         Being tickled by something means to be either pleased or amused by it. “I’m plumb tickled to hear that!” “The way that Bill goes on, it really tickles me.
·         You don’t leave things on the floor, you leave them in the floor.
·         Gas station = fillin’ station
·         Shitfire is a common exclamation, as is hellfire- pronounced shee-it-far and hail-far.
·         Slew = a large amount. They’s a whole slew of words I ain’t even thought of yet.
·         Clodhoppers = farmers’ heavy work shoes.
·         Someone who is just a mite too pleased with themselves might be grinnin’ like a possum.
·         If you are a bit too optimistic, someone might tell you to wish in one hand and shit in the other, and see which one gets full first. Their implication: you’re dumber’n a box (or bag) of hammers. Or as useful as tits on a boar hog. However, you might know that you’re smarter than they think- you’re slicker’n snot on a doorknob.
·         Keith Richards looks like he has been rode hard and put up wet.
·         If I want you to repeat what you just said, I might say: Do what?
·         If someone has a stroke of bad luck, they might say “well don’t that beat my hat blowin’ down the creek.”
·         If you want your young’uns to mind, you might threaten to tan their hide. Or to jerk a knot in their tail.
·         Just as “foot” can substitute for the f-word, you can avoid another four-letter word by saying “Well shoot a monkey.” Or “shootfire.”
·         Riled up = roiled up; angry
·         When you meet a stranger you might ask them: “Whose boy are you? Who’s your mama’s people?”
·         Looks to me like = a statement of agreement. Bob says, “I reckon winter’s here, Joe.” Joe says, “Looks to me like.”
·         Young’uns are on their first legs.
·         Daddy Longlegs = Granddaddies  
·         Fart = poot
·         When visitors come to your door you say “Why don’t you come in and stay awhile?” and when they leave you say “Why don’t y’uns just stay with us?” Even if you don’t actually want them to do either of those things.
·         If you show physical sensitivity when getting a haircut, you might be known thereafter as “tender-headed.”
·         Battery = battry
·         “Tennis shoes” is pronounced “tennie shoes”
·         Pry = prize. “Sometimes ye just have ta take ye fangers and just prize thangs open.”
·         Y’all = you all, of course. I debated even including this, since everyone knows what it means and it is used throughout the South and parts of the West. I decided to include it in order to emphasize that y’all is ALWAYS plural, at least in Appalachia. Someone using y’all when speaking to one person is a non-native trying to imitate the dialect. In the past when I have made this assertion about the use of y’all in general, there have always been some people who swear up and down that they have heard Southerners say y’all in the singular somewhere. I have still never heard it, but for the sake of doubt, I will instead merely claim that it is always plural in Appalachia. Y’all and y’uns are generally interchangeable, but when the second-person plural pronoun comes at the very end of a sentence it is almost always y’uns.  “If y’all woanna go, we’ll take y’uns.”  When speaking of three or more people, it can become “all y’all” or “all y’uns.”
·         Robe and slippers = housecoat and house shoes
·         And = the d is almost always silent.   Also, the f is often silent in "of", and to is usually ta/tuh. The 'th' in them/these/those, which is often dropped, remains in place when following o'. "I'm goin' ta one o' them stores down yonder an' git me a col'drank. I like 'emm col'dranks."
·         Cure = cyore. I thank ‘att risin’ is startin’ ta cyore up. Or: You’re cruisin’ fer a bruisin’, an’ I’ve got the cyore fer shore.
·         Horrible and terrible = harble and turble.
·         Marry and merry are both pronounced “marry”.
·         Guarantee is gairntee, sometimes garntee
·         Gaumed up = smudged or begrimed. This word was common in 17th century English.
·         What people outside the South call sweet tea, we just call tea (because, duh, of course it is “sweet” tea unless someone says otherwise.) I remember going to a restaurant when I first moved to Illinois and ordering tea: I almost spit it out when I tasted it. “I didn’t order unsweet tea, I ordered tea!” “Um, there are sugar packets on the table.” “Do you mean to say you expect people to sweeten their own tea? That’s barbaric!” (note: this is not Appalachia-centric but applies to the whole South. I decided to include it because most folks who have not spent time in the South would probably not be aware of it.)
·         Always = all-the-time. As in: You’re all-the-time askin’ me for favors.
·         Lawyer is pronounced Lah-yer, not Law-yer or Loi-yer.
·         The L is usually silent in “help”: Let me he’p ye with that. In some places, particularly NC, “help” can be pronounced “hope.”
·         Spoiled (as in a child) = petted. She always was kindly petted.
·         Yesterday = yesterdy. Similar with days of the week: Sundy, Mundy, Tuesdy, Wensdy, Thursdy, Fridy, Sairdy.
·         Such = sich.  “Do you believe in haints an’ sich?” “Ain’t nary sich a thang.”
·         The PO-lice is also the law, used interchangeably. “The law come by here earlier.” Law can also refer to individual police officers: “How many laws was they?” “Three er four laws, I reckon. Po-lice ever-whur.”   Also, Sheriff is pronounced Shurrif or Shur'f.
·         Twilight is sometimes called dusky-dark. After darkness has fallen, someone might say it is “about dark-thirty.”
·         Soon, aka d’reckly, can also be “here ‘fore long.” “Here ‘fore long att’ll come back to bite ye.”
·         Ask is usually pronounced "ast" in the past tense, and sometimes also in the present (but not usually). "I done ast ye once't and now I'm fixin' to ask ye agin."
·         “Puttin’ on” (pronounced putt’n oan): pretending, in the sense of presenting yourself as something you are not, and often in the context of trying to convey a higher social or moral stature than you actually possess. “He ain’t all that –he’s just puttin’ on.”
·         Trespass is pronounced “truspass”
·         A bar of soap is called a CAKE of soap.
·         To my Minnesotan wife, “spatula” means both the sort of single-bladed thing you serve cake with and the larger thing with long vertical slits that you use when you fry things. The latter is NOT a spatula where I come from, it is an egg-turner.
·         It is not a “stove cap”, it is a “stove eye.”
·         You do not change the “tabs” on your license plate, you change the “tags.”

This list will grow over time, as I think of more words and phrases or they are pointed out to me (again, let me know of any I missed.) Meanwhile, bear in mind that the Southern Mountain Dialect is a legitimate dialect of the English language, and not a marker of intelligence or cultural inferiority. While it might seem strange (or exotic) to some, it is not something to laugh at or deride.

Note: I use a good bit of Southern dialect in my novel Good Rebel Soil: The Champ Ferguson Story, about the infamous Upper Cumberland Confederate guerrilla.