August 10, 2023
Troy D. Smith
“Waving Goodbye to Waving
Hello?”
Most of y’all know
I was born and raised in White County. I love my hometown, and I missed it
during the years I was gone. I left in 2005 for grad school in Illinois, and
returned in 2011 with a Minnesotan-raised wife. Soon after we got here, we were
sitting on the front porch of the farmhouse we were renting, watching the
occasional cars go by. Every driver waved at us, and I waved back. “Who was
that?” my wife would ask, and I’d usually respond, “I have no idea.” Because
that’s just what we do here. It’s what we have always done. Often it is not a
full-handed wave, but one or two fingers lifted in greeting from the steering
wheel, or sometimes a nod of the head.
I remember, twenty
years ago, when I would leave my White County home and drive to Crossville to
clean a couple of stores in the mornings, then drive to Jamestown to clean
another (and then head to Cookeville to attend class at Tech). I noticed the
difference then. When I left Sparta and got to Crossville -which is much bigger
and has a significant number of retirees from outside the South -the waves
stopped. Then, when I left Crossville and started getting closer to Jamestown,
they would resume.
I had a little
culture shock moving to the Midwest in 2005 -even though, as a young man, I had
briefly lived in New York City and South Florida. I think this is because I had
expected people to be rude in those other places, some New Yorkers are even
proud of it (and a lot of Floridians are retired New Yorkers). But the Midwest?
They’re proud of how polite they are… but it didn’t seem that way to me, or to
most of the fellow transplanted Southerners I ran into there. I remember the
weird stares I got from strangers when I waved to them, or simply made eye
contact and nodded, as we passed on the sidewalk. Even people I knew seemed
irritated when I passed them on the street and felt socially obligated to chat
with them for just a moment, because I was slowing them down. I remember how
surprised I was when people walking ahead of me let doors slam in my face, or
when teen-aged store workers -when I gave them my credit card -called me by my
first name instead of mister or sir. So, where friendliness was concerned, I
was glad to get back home.
But I have noticed
a change in the last few years. No one waves from their car anymore, even when
I wave at them first (which I make a conscious effort to do). Salespeople and
vendors seem less friendly, more impersonal. Students who’ve worked for years
as servers tell me even they have noticed customers becoming ruder than they
used to be -including older people. This breaks my heart. I think there are a
lot of factors at work. For four years, we had a president who made it
acceptable (even preferable) to be coarse, rude, profane, and ugly -some people
now perceive that as a sign of strength. We’ve also had a lot of people move
in, many because they like our friendly, laid-back atmosphere -but they don’t
know or participate in our customs which make it that way. That’s especially
sad, because -welcome as they are -some are unknowingly helping to change that
atmosphere into what they left. Having been there, I recognize it happening. And it's happening with locals as well as new arrivals.
This is NOT me
discouraging new people from moving into our area, nor am I casting a wide net
-I could list dozens and dozens of newer folks from other regions who are
wonderful people and excellent additions. What I AM saying is that maybe all of
us -whether we are from here or not -should return to those friendly
traditions.
--Troy D.
Smith, a White County native, is a novelist and a history professor at Tennessee
Tech. His words do not necessarily represent TTU.
A list of other historical essays that have appeared on this blog can be found HERE
Author's website: www.troyduanesmith.com
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